R.I.P. Free Breakfast

It is with sadness that I bring you the news that today the world has learned of the passing of the opportunity to have free breakfast every day at my workplace. After a long bout with employees dogging out as if they'd not eaten for weeks, it was announced that the free breakfast had succumbed overnight to financial factors probably brought on by myself and a few thousand other gluttonous, fat, tie-wearing scavengers.

There will be a brief mourning period for the next week and a half, during which employees may still feast until they vomit, ending in a final sending-off next friday, when the last greasy bacon and egg muffin will be wolfed down and instantly regretted. A fitting tribute.

Our hearts go out, quite frequently, with the amount of congealed fat clogging up our strangled arteries. And our thoughts are with the thousands of employees worldwide, who will be forced to endure the pain of healthy muesly, yoghurt and orange juice, at home with their families, rather than spend a half an hour more at work so that they may further company profits and risk a stroke through poor nutrition.

Oh well, it was good while it lasted. May free breakfast rest in peace.

cheers,
Macca